Jason Campbell meets Alexa

Jason Campbell:Heyy how do u get to the General Managers Office?
*Alexa looks hungrily over Jason Campbell's toned body*
Alexa:Oh.....ermm yes okay sorry my minds on other things
*She points them in the right direction and start talking to each other*
Jason Campbell:So....what do you do around here?
*she looks at him*
Alexa:well i just help out really..
*they arrive at the General Managers office*
Jason Campbell:Well i'd be happy for you to give me a interview anytime
*she looks into his eyes,and they move close together and their lips meet and they kiss for a while*
Alexa:well as always i'm happy to help you...anytime.
*Frozen King comes walking down the corridor*
Frozen King:What have i told you?*points his finger right up in Jason's face*
Jason Campbell:Well what have YOU told me?
Alexa:Okay,Okay if you two are fighting over me don't-i suggest you have a match tonight whoever wins gets a date with me...
*Frozen King and Jason Campbell both nod there heads then stare at each other with cold hard eyes*
*--Camera turns to black--*

Please give feedback on this--and remember one of my first Role-Plays..

Neli is gonna eat you and fk

i did not want to be in it so JC take me out and i can put u in mine with alexa instead of jenna cuz i respect neli and i dont want to die

I understand this is one of your first RP's, but I'll give you some pointers. I've been RPing wrestling for over ten years, so this may help.

1. Probably the most important rule is that if you're gonna use someone elses character you have to get that persons permission, or at the very least, make sure the character does something that is, well, in character for them. For example, Jenna wouldn't kiss you. She's dating Neli, and currently has at least 2 other suitors actively pursuing her, so her lustful behavior over you is quite a bit out of character for her... If you want to go this way with the fued, you could introduce a new female for you and FK to fight over, or get Nelies permission to join the current "fight over Jenna" story arc. I would suggest going with the former, because the latter has too many high levels and experienced RPers, you would get squashed.

2. Work of the formatting. These forums make it very easy to do. Italicize your actions, and bold and color dialogue. Presentation is half the battle.

3. Try not to use internet shorthand. Spell out words like "you" and "are". Correct grammar is a huge plus as well. This makes your RP's much more legible and presentable.

Sorry i didn't realise Jenna was already in a storyline and Mattskee thanks for the advice

dude dont kiss alexa i made her so oh well YOU CANT KISS HER she will end up being one of ours then if she's yours u can kiss her